Feb 10 2009
Technology and the Twelve Year-old
Please, send me to my room! If my room is anything like the room of many young people I know, I can choose between going online on my computer, watching my television or choosing something from my DVD collection or listening to my iPod. Or maybe I would play with my Wii, talk on my cell phone or just listen to CDs on my player. What a punishment it would be!
You can say I am behind the times. You can say I am out of touch. You can even say you would feel sorry for any kids I had in my home. You can say all that and mean it, but I still won’t be wrong when I say technologies like those listed above have no place in a child’s bedroom if the parent wants to have a relationship with the child!
Paul, a former student, had a problem his parents told me. “He won’t spend any time with the family. We hardly ever see him outside of mealtime. He’s not in any trouble, he’s just completely out of touch.” they reported. I agreed to talk to Paul. Seems Paul really loved his parents, but he found the computer and television in his room far more entertaining. I suggested that they remove those items if they wanted to see their son and spend time with him.
As I have said in previous articles, we want our kids to be safe. Yet we give them access to the world, don’t monitor it with certainty, and then we give them a web cam on top of it. Call me crazy, but what sane parent would do that? Young teens don’t stop and think before they act. That is why so many photos are being passed around from site to site, photos your son or daughter really meant for only one person.
The same thing is true of cell phones. It also gives controlling boyfriends another way to control their girlfriends. It keeps kids up late at night, calling or texting. Of all the kids I know that have cell phones, a very few have enforced time restrictions on them. Again, because they have to have the latest technology, they have the picture phones, and oh, the pictures they send and receive would make a grown man blush!
Before you go to great expense, ask yourself if your child really needs the technology. If they need to get a hold of you after a club meeting, how about a prepaid cell phone they use only when they need it. Why not watch television programs together and share the computer in the family room? You might find yourself getting to know your child all over again.
