Making It In America

A few days ago my middle school science students were studying sex education.  One of the boys said, “You know that movie, Benjamin Button?  They did it a whole bunch of times in it.”  I know this child’s parents and they would never, intentionally, send him to a movie that focused on things beyond his age.  They thought he was seeing a movie about a man who’s age goes down as he ages, and indeed it was.  It just seems he had sex a lot in the process.  What we see we focus on, and  the more we see it, the more it enters our mind.  I truly believe that we need to shelter our kids from some subjects until they have the maturity to deal with them.

If you are the parent of a middle schooler and you don’t have time to see all the movies first, there is help for you.  Just go to the internet and search plugged-in online.  This is a Christian website that reviews movies.  It will tell you the plot, the violence level and what that includes, sex and where it happens, cursing and the type of words, nudity and the times it happens.  In short, it describes movies in full.  If you want to see the movie yourself and you value surprise, it won’t happen if you read this review first.  However, if you want to give your kids guidance in picking out a good, suitable movie, it is a fantastic resource and it only takes a couple minutes.

Please, send me to my room!  If my room is anything like the room of many young people I know, I can choose between going online on my computer, watching my television or choosing something from my DVD collection or listening to my iPod.  Or maybe I would play with my Wii, talk on my cell phone or just listen to CDs on my player.  What a punishment it would be!

You can say I am behind the times.  You can say I am out of touch.  You can even say you would feel sorry for any kids I had in my home.  You can say all that and mean it, but I still won’t be wrong when I say technologies like those listed above have no place in a child’s bedroom if the parent wants to have a relationship with the child!

Paul, a former student, had a problem his parents told me.  “He won’t spend any time with the family.  We hardly ever see him outside of mealtime.  He’s not in any trouble, he’s just completely out of touch.”  they reported.  I agreed to talk to Paul.  Seems Paul really loved his parents, but he found the computer and television in his room far more entertaining. I suggested that they remove those items if they wanted to see their son and spend time with him.

As I have said in previous articles, we want our kids to be safe.  Yet we give them access to the world, don’t monitor it with certainty, and then we give them a web cam on top of it.  Call me crazy, but what sane parent would do that?  Young teens don’t stop and think before they act.  That is why so many photos are being passed around from site to site, photos your son or daughter really meant for only one person.

The same thing is true of cell phones.  It also gives controlling boyfriends another way to control their girlfriends.  It keeps kids up late at night, calling or texting.  Of all the kids I know that have cell phones, a very few have enforced time restrictions on them.  Again, because they have to have the latest technology, they have the picture phones, and oh, the pictures they send and receive would make a grown man blush!

Before you go to great expense, ask yourself if your child really needs the technology.  If they need to get a hold of you after a club meeting, how about a prepaid cell phone they use only when they need it.  Why not watch television programs together and share the computer in the family room?  You might find yourself getting to know your child all over again.

The question has been asked, “should parents be held accountable for the actions of their children?”  My answer to that question is definite “maybe”.

It seems that parents are being put on trial.  The question about the responsibility of the parents is, in my opinion, dependent on the parent.  Were they a parent, a buddy or just the method used to give the child life?  Let me explain.

First, take the case of the mother who bought weapons and explosives.  Her son was upset and he was planning a Columbine-style response to his life.  The vote is in-responsible.

Then there are the third-grade children who planned the attack on their teacher in Georgia.  Mom and dad did not supply the weapons, but where did they get ideas like this.  I would venture that you have innocent parents whose children were drawn into the plot by others whose parents are suspect.  Parents are responsible for what their children view and the knowledge that they have gained by third grade should be fairly innocent.  Yes, I thinking there were some guilty parents involved.

Absentee parents are guilty.  Whether they are gone or absent in the home, parents who give birth and then don’t take their responsibilities seriously need to rethink the situation.  Too many parents are wrapped up in their own world and their own needs.  Then they are upset because their kids give them problems too!

Parents need to step up to the plate and protect their children from the real dangers in this world.  Many of these dangers are invited into our house via our televisions, computers and dvd players.  Do not think for one minute your child is immune for what he or she sees and hears. Monitor everything.

Then children need to learn responsible ways to deal with frustrations, anger and mean people.  Never, in the eyes of society, is it acceptable to gun them down or blow them up. Modeling is one of the best ways to do this and in my days on this earth I’ve seen some of the best and some of the worst models out there!  Teach your children well.

When Rome was the “center of the world” it was said that all roads led to Rome.  Today, no matter what else happens, the center of our world is located where the people we care about live.  Be it ever so humble, all roads lead to home.

I remember the year my third daughter was born.  It was December 19 and we decided that she was too little to be with all the relatives; we would stay home.  We loaded our girls in the car and started driving around looking for a place to eat.  Nothing was good enough.  It just wasn’t Christmas.  I was crying because I missed my family.  We turned our car around and drove the hour’s drive to spend Christmas with the people we loved; the baby did just fine.

Long story short, let your family know how important they are to you this holiday season.  If they are far away, send a card and give them a call.  If you can afford to, send them a small gift.  Most of all, just reach out and let them know they are important.  You never know what life will bring, nor do you know the effects our actions may have on the others.  The best thing is, at the end of the day, they’ll know you care.

And, of course, if you can, get on the road and find the one that leads to home!